Step into the You Don't Want To Know What It Is Restaurant, a place where teenagers jam to Percy Faith and bootleg Perry Como.

Say hello to Tawney Pickle, Miss Comfort Food for 2007, and one of her 37 personalities, all inspired by guests on Oprah Winfrey.

Welcome to "Comfort Food: Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes for your Mind" - a manic roadmap of Chris Turner's often twisted sense of humor. Broadcast live every Saturday morning from Cody's historic Irma Hotel, it is the only live variety radio show west of the Mississippi.

If Garrison Keillor's "Prairie Home Companion" on public radio is the gold standard of live-audience comedy radio shows, Turner likes to think "Comfort Food" is the aluminum standard.

That's nothing to scoff at. Everybody needs aluminum. It's what makes beer portable.

At first glance, Cody, Wyo., seems an unlikely place to find Chris Turner.

Or, perhaps, Chris Turner is an unlikely man to find Cody, Wyo.

Before the rush of summer tourists, Cody slumbers between the Absaroka and Big Horn mountains. Some 500,000 Yellowstone tourists will pass through this town of about 9,000 locals when the weather turns warm.

It is steeped in Western history, legend and the influence of the showman who was its namesake - Col. William F. "Buffalo Bill" Cody.

Turner comes from a much different history.

His father, Ed "No Relation To Ted" Turner was one of the four founding fathers of the CNN News network.

Chris Turner started his career there as a copy boy on July 17, 1980. He taught himself to cut video and work sound. He became a Johnnie-Be-All for the fledgling network. By 1984, he was head of the political unit and followed the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Gary Hart for five months.

During one campaign trip, the Hart plane's right engine caught fire and blew up shortly after take-off.

Newsmen around him prayed. Turner didn't really want to die either, but this was news, people! He picked up his still camera and started snapping pictures. His cameraman saw him and started videotaping.

The plane landed safely.

Later, in the airport bar, Turner's hands shook so that the ice rattled against his glass. He glanced up at the television hanging on the wall. It was playing his crew's tape from the plane.

"That's why you guys will always beat us," an NBC newsman said.

Turner covered wars and politicians for 16 more years - the Panama invasion, the bombing of Libya from the USS America, the Iran-Iraq war and the civil war in Bosnia. In Sarajevo, one of his photographers was shot in the jaw. The bullet could have hit Turner if he hadn't stayed behind to pay the bills.

The photographer lived, but Turner was finished with war.

"Suddenly I became mortal. If you are covering wars, you can't be mortal," he said.

He found Cody on a 2001 vacation. He had retired from CNN to care for his father, who had been diagnosed with liver cancer. He wanted to take a trip before he cared for his dad.

"Have you ever been to Wyoming?" his mother asked. It was the only state he hadn't seen.

"You have to go to Cody and stay at the Irma Hotel. They make stiff drinks, so be careful."

Turner spent three weeks there. When he left, he swore he'd come back.

His father died six months later. Retired and financially secure, Turner suddenly was faced with the option of living anywhere he wanted. He thought about returning to Rome, where he had lived for three years for CNN. He thought about Tulsa, Okla., his hometown.

But he couldn't get Cody out of his head.

He thinks of Wyoming as that bar on Luke Skywalker's home planet - a place with the roughest and toughest from across the galaxy, who don't bat an eye when someone loses an arm in a quick-draw light saber fight.

There's no bar in which Turner would rather drink.

Except maybe the Irma's Silver Saddle Bar.

The reason he has a bra in his office?

Well, it's a long story.

Most of Turner's stories are long. And there is one behind almost every artifact in his two-room office.

The Tickle-Me Pete Simpson Doll was built for a radio sketch. It giggles. Laughs obnoxiously. Then keels over of a heart attack. (Simpson, a University of Wyoming professor emeritus and a member of Wyoming political royalty, thought it was funny.)

Most of the props his actors use in front of the radio show's live audience make it back to these rooms. They sit among dozens of other collectibles Turner has gathered over the years.

Some mark events in his life, such as the picture of him with his news crew, the first crew into Kuwait at the beginning of Desert Storm. Some are just silly, such as his collection of action figures featuring Marie Antoinette (the beheaded queen of France). Turner's Houdini doll, complete with straight jacket and handcuffs, holds Mary's head.

Many of the collectibles celebrate the American West, a Turner obsession.

"Jazz is our only original art form. The West is our only mythology," he said.

"It's our Iliad. Our Odyssey. We'll never have anything like the West again."

Just look at his boots -green on top, tan on the bottom. The pointed toes are tipped with black.

Most of "Comfort Food" is created in this office. It's 40 hours of work for a 55-minute show.

The musical acts offer Turner a chance to show off the area's local talent. It's also one of the hardest parts of the job.

His dog groomer is an accomplished jazz vibraphonist. His dentist is a bagpiper and blues harmonica player. Both have been featured acts. He also features students to promote their upcoming school productions.

He practically discovered the Bannock Trailers, a musical duet who didn't even have a name when he and his wife saw them playing in Cooke City, Mont. "If you want to give me a birthday gift," his wife had said, "get these guys on your show."

They now play "Comfort Food" whenever the mountain roads are clear. They are getting ready to cut their first CD, a mixture of country and classic hillbilly.

Stephanie Davis also has played the show a few times. She's a country songwriter who has written for Garth Brooks, among others. She is also the most returned guest of "Prairie Home Companion." Once, in a pinch, "Prairie Home" asked her to fill in for another musical guest. Davis turned them down. She was scheduled to do "Comfort Food" that weekend.

Take that, Keillor.

Show ideas come mostly from the news. He spends at least an hour and a half each day flipping through newspapers and browsing the Internet. The "in" box on his desk is full of clippings that may make future shows.

Yellowstone Superintendent Suzanne Lewis is an occasional target. With the winter closure of the park's east gate, Lewis isn't the most popular figure in Cody right now.

"Chris has great affection for Wyoming," said Cody actor Thom Huge (pronounced HYOO-gee). "He pokes fun at our foibles. He's not making fun of us."

You might recognize Huge's voice. He was Jon Arbuckle in CBS's morning cartoon, "Garfield and Friends."

Saturday. Show day.

Turner is at the Irma by 5:30 a.m. to move tables to make room for the sound equipment.

He can't think of a better place for his show.

Buffalo Bill built it for his youngest daughter in 1902. The cherrywood bar in the dining room was commissioned by Queen Victoria for her showman friend. The wood is from France. It was carried by steamship to New York City, by train to Red Lodge, Mont., and to Cody by horse-drawn wagons.

The Irma claims to serve the best prime rib in the Rocky Mountains.

"The Irma is the heart of Cody. You're always going to know someone when you come into this place," Turner says.

Turner's cast and crew arrive about an hour before showtime:

* Frank Hiltz, audio engineer and owner of a local karaoke company.

* Kim Richard, who hails from a long-time Cody family. She is an actress and the "beat lady." She announces upcoming Cody events.

* Huge, making a return appearance. He can't act on the show as much anymore because of the demands of his new job - director of the Buffalo Bill Art Show and Sale.

* Wendy Corr, Big Horn Radio Network's news director. She studied acting in college, but she never thought she'd actually get to use it.

* And 16-year-old Jayme Fraser, a Cody High School junior who met Turner at a journalism conference. She asked him if she could help on the show.

"It's grown to more than just what you hear on the radio. It's a family of comedians that you can detach yourself from six days a week," she said.

Their only group rehearsal is about 10 minutes before the show goes live.

By now, the Irma breakfast crowd is picking up. It's a mix of long-time ranchers, area artists, professionals and three older women who came to see the show together.

"To me, the comedy carries it. I've heard it many miles in my car and I laugh hysterically," said Joan Anderson, 65. "And you need to laugh."

Sometimes "Comfort Food" plays before 130 people packed in like sardines. Sometimes it plays before six. Today, about 20.

The theme to the "Magnificent Seven" thunders out of a sound system.

Turner sits tables behind a laptop computer. One hand is wrapped around his script, the other waves in exaggerated gestures.

"Welcome back to 'Comfort Food,' the crown jewel in Wyoming radio!" he shouts. "The pinnacle of audio entertainment! The finest sounds you will ever hear coming from the AM band because we've been banned from FM!

"And elementary schools.

"And middle schools.

"… And any public place."

So it begins, the wacky parade of misfits and malcontents that Turner leads every Saturday morning.

Huge calls it "Garrison on speed."

That's OK. If Turner could do for Wyoming just a fraction of what Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon has done for Minnesota, Turner would be happy. Ninety percent of Keillor's listeners have never been to Minnesota. But "Prairie Home Companion" makes them feel like they know it.

"Who would have thought we'd have something like this in Wyoming? I'm just tickled to be part of it," Corr said.

Take a bite out of radio

You can listen to "Comfort Food: Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes for your Mind" from 9 to 10 a.m. every Saturday:

* On KODI 1400 AM in Cody and surrounding areas.

* On KXMQ 1140 AM throughout the Big Horn Basin.

* Or download the show each week at www.casperstartribune.net. Simply click here for the shows!

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