Some people can sail through December like a great Christmas fairy - spreading good humor and cheer to whichever get-together or shopping mall they go. Some people resent those people.

Let's face it. December can be tough. There's too much of everything: Cooking, cleaning, decorating, shopping, wrapping, socializing, spending. Too many sweets, too many commitments, too many songs telling you how holly - jolly everything should be.

Of course, the holiday stress so many put on themselves is often self induced. If we remembered what Christmas should be, instead of what we have made it to be, it could be as easy as a cozy day inside with friends, family and gratitude for all that we have.

This year, make a conscious effort to get back to that Christmas - if only to a degree. Say 'no.' Set limits. Lower your expectations. Laugh as much as you can.

And, above all, just relax. Here, three experts offer their advice for a Christmas that is as easy as … well, Christmas.

The counselor - Joanne Theobald, counselor at Casper College:

1. Reach out: A good way to keep Christmas in perspective is to reach out to those who need extra help this time of year. Balancing schedules, money and expectations seems less stressful when considering the gifts in your life and trying to make someone else's holiday a little easier.

For example, the holidays are often especially hard for people who have experienced a big loss within the last year, Theobald said. Spend extra time reaching out to these people - cook them a meal, invite them over for your Christmas dinner, or offer to run some holiday errands - and you'll ease your own holiday stress. (See Still Grieving.)

Find a way to give back - volunteer at a rescue mission or the Salvation Army, contact your church about ways to help, or deliver meals to those in need.

2. Lower your expectations. "People who have extremely high expectations of themselves, I see them getting into trouble and just doing too much and expecting too much," she said. Culture and media paint a picture of how the holidays should be. This can make us feel like failures when we don't, in our own minds, measure up.

Realize that Christmas traditions change. Sometimes, your grown children can't make it home for the holidays. Children returning home after the first year may find the changes stressful. Theobald's parents turned her room into a TV room after she went off to college. Her advice? Roll with the changes and create new holiday traditions.

Theobald's mother, for example, adopted neighborhood children to bake cookies with when hers left the nest. Theobald also knows of people who have made it their new tradition to serve holiday meals to the needy or to host other people whose families cannot be home for the holidays.

"Forget about perfection. Just forget about it. Quit trying to be Martha Stewart," she said.

"Once we let go of 'this is how Christmas should be,' we're open to making new decisions and saying, 'this is how Christmas can be.'"

3. Set limits: Retailers count on this season to fill their coffers and they advertise, advertise, advertise to capture as many of the holiday dollars as they can. Set your financial limits early - and know exactly how much you can afford. Then stick to your financial guns.

Think consciously about how much baking you can do, cards you can send and how many decorations you can hang. Theobald recently saw a house with three Christmas trees in it. It begs the question: " How much is enough?" she said.

4. Keep healthy habits:"My advice is, whatever your usual healthy habits, keep those through the holiday season."

And don't forget about yourself. If you usually get a massage, don't put it off this month.

"People tend to neglect themselves this time of year because they have so much to do."

5. Know when you need help: If you find yourself sinking into a depression around the holidays - if you can't sleep or eat or keep perspective - seek professional help.

The home organizer - Cynthia Workman, owner of Clear Path Organizing of Cheyenne.

1. Spend happy: "One thing I always suggest, is decide in advance what you want to spend. And that means money and time," Workman said. Set money limits for each person on your gift list and decide how much time you will devote to out-of-home commitments. That may mean saying "yes" to one Christmas party, while saying "no" to another.

If you sit down and work this out on paper, it will be much easier to stick to. And, you won't feel so guilty about declining.

2. Set a family goal: Every year, Workman sits down with her husband (usually in late summer or early fall) and decides a family goal for the Christmas season. A couple of years ago, they set a family goal of serving others. They took their children to a local rescue mission to serve holiday meals and made time to visit an acquaintance who had been incarcerated.

For their gift exchange, each had to write down what they admired about the person - not the color of the hair or eyes, but something for which the recipient had been responsible.

"This year our goal is just to spend a good chunk of time as a family," she said. As a result, they've turned down a number of other holiday invitations.

3: Gift giving: "One of the big things that we have tried to do, and got our parents trained on, is give things that represent time. Most kids don't need more toys or more clothes," she said. Passes to a zoo, or coupons for two hours with Dad, etc., can be thoughtful gifts that can take the stress out of shopping.

And for older kids, the Workmans give cash. "What I like isn't what they like. That really simplifies our gift giving."

Also, avoid gifts that require batteries. They work for a while and then ultimately end up in a room or drawer. Plus, they're almost always noisy.

4. Cooking: If you want to serve the big elaborate meal at Christmas, go for it. But a crock pot full of soup can be just as good. And then, the hosts can say: "I just had a great time with my family, and I don't have to have next Friday off."

5. Decorations: Decide what storage space you have available - you don't want to pay storage fees for decorations you will use one month of the year. Workman uses plastic tubs and puts lights in one, decorations in another and glass ornaments in a third. They're mouse proof and when it comes time to decorate, her stash is already organized.

The party planner - Amy Clifton, manager of Party America in Casper:

1. Invitations: Get invitations early and get them in the mail at least a week before the party, preferably two weeks. "Everybody gets busy at the last minute," she said.

2. Shop early: If you postpone too long, you can miss out on sales on party supplies. Plus, the longer you wait, the more crowds you will have to fight in the stores.

3. Make lists:Write down everything - who you will invite; who has accepted the invitation; what food you will serve; what ingredients to buy; how many forks, plates and bowls you will need. Try to imagine the party step by step to uncover something you might have otherwise overlooked: Will you need an ice container? Do you have plenty of nonalcoholic drinks to offer for those who are driving or who prefer them? And if you are serving alcohol, do you have a plan for getting people home safely?

4. Simplify the menu: Crockpot dips are great because they can sit and cook with little effort on your part. Think finger foods and hors d'oeuvres. Use disposable glasses and plates to ease cleaning time at the end.

5. Downsize the decorations: "The easiest way to decorate for a Christmas party is to make sure your house is decorated for Christmas," Clifton said. Make sure the tree is up and the wreath is hung and that's really all you need.