For some, as the song goes, it's the most wonderful time of the year. But for those grieving the loss of a loved one, the sights, sounds and traditions of the season are ongoing and painful reminders of how life has changed. Experts say individuals experiencing such challenges often face the holidays with anxiety and sadness. And while people of any age can suffer holiday blues, seasonal celebrations can be particularly difficult for older adults, according to the American Geriatrics Society and its Foundation for Health in Aging.

"Older people may feel melancholy because the holidays remind them of times past and loved ones who have died or moved away," says foundation chair Dr. Meghan Gerety, chief of staff of the New Mexico VA Health Care System.

Karen Carney, a social worker who has worked in trauma and grief counseling for more than 20 years, knows firsthand the challenge of celebrating the holidays after the loss of loved ones. Over the past several decades, she's lost her mother, brother, grandparents and all of her biological aunts and uncles. Two years ago, she lost her mother-in-law. Several weeks ago, her father died.

"As we age, we tend to experience multiple layers of loss," says Carney, bereavement program director at the D'Esopo Resource Center in Wethersfield, Conn. "Seeing other people having what appears to be perfect holidays makes us feel even more lonely and sad."

Carney says there are ways to help cope with the feelings. First, acknowledge that circumstances have changed and things are not the same. Give yourself permission to experience the grief. Share your thoughts and memories with those who will acknowledge and validate what you're experiencing, not simply try to cheer you up.

"Trying to pretend you're better than you actually are can be exhausting," Carney says. "Often if people find if they can express their true feelings, they can also look at the things they still have to be thankful for."

Her other advice: Understand that the anticipation of the holiday or anniversary is usually worse than the actual day. Your hardest days are right now, and you are surviving this, so you will survive holidays and anniversaries. Plan . Be prepared. Have multiple options for getting through the holidays, and let others know that you reserve the right to change the plan at a moment's notice.

If you have to buy gifts, try to use a catalog or order online. Stay away from malls and other places where there are crowds of seemingly happy people excited about the holidays. The experience can reinforce your pain. Find a symbolic way to remember your loved one during the festivities. Some find it comforting to buy a centerpiece made of a family member's favorite flowers. Carney cooks dishes that her mother and her mother-in-law taught her to make. Light a candle, not "in memory" of your loved one but "in celebration" of his or her life.

Take care of your physical and emotional health. Eat and drink in moderation, get plenty of rest and remember to exercise. Wherever you go and whatever you do, bring plenty of tissues.

The American Geriatrics Society Foundation for Health in Aging, or FHA), has released "Tips for Beating the Holiday Blues," available at www.health inaging.org/public education/ holiday blues.php. The publication advises older people to ask for additional assistance if they need help traveling to or preparing for holiday events, encourages them to talk about their feelings, including loss and sadness, and alerts readers of the warning signs of depression.

A number of community organizations and agencies offer support groups and special programs to help people deal with loss during the holidays.