Editor:

Dear Mr. President,

In regard to your attempts to reach across party lines, identify problems and seek consensus on solutions to those problems ... boy, are you naive.

It's not that we don't like some of your ideas, it's just that they're not our ideas and it's not our job to help you achieve your agenda.

How would it look to the 10 percent or so of our constituents that actually vote in the primaries if we were to support you on any of this stuff? Why, we'd be opening ourselves up to ridicule from the very people we need to impress. They might even vote us out of office. We can't allow that. It wouldn't be good for the country (not to mention our careers). After all, we're the ones with the connections. We're the ones who know where the money tree grows. We're the ones that reap the biggest corporate donations and we're the ones that will lead our party back to power.

Now, if corporations could vote, then we wouldn't have to go through these charades. We could cut out all of this middle-man stuff and deal with the real authority behind the Republican Party, our corporate sponsors. It would certainly save a lot of time and money. But, we have to let these folks have their say (it's says so in the Constitution), so that leads to all of our attacks on you. We have to convince voters that you're evil and a socialist and bad for the country. It's the only way we can regain our rightful Governance of America. Which of course, is what every true American wants.

Thus, we reject your efforts at bipartisanship, offer no regrets for our actions and promise to do whatever we can to foil your administration. We will impede, delay and undermine you at every opportunity, even to the ruin of the country and the detriment of the people (they won't even notice). Whatever you try, sir, shall result in failure. We'll see to that. Once we've regained power, bipartisanship will no longer be an issue. We don't need two party consensus to do what's right for America. All we need is guidance from our corporate bosses.

Sincerely,

The Republicans

LESLIE PUNCHES, Green River