Hand me the wrench, hammer or screw driver. Forget it, just hand me the whole tool box.

These became familiar words for Jennifer Shreve while her husband, Jim, was away at war in Iraq.

The Afton resident built a catapult for one of her son's science projects. She fixed a leak in the shower. She installed a new faucet while her husband talked to the family on a Web camera from 7,000 miles away.

"What's mom doing?" she remembers her husband asking one of their sons through the computer.

"I was just tinkering away," Jennifer Shreve said. "He told me, 'I can't believe you're doing that.'"

Jennifer Shreve knew she wouldn't be able to get someone to fix it for a couple days and no one else was there to do it.

Sgt. 1st Class Jim Shreve, a career military soldier, left for training in May 2006. He left for Iraq as part of the Wyoming Army National Guard's 1041st Engineer Company in September 2006. He worked convoy security in Northern Iraq.

After 18 months away, he returned home to Afton on October 3, 2007.

A few weeks ago, Jennifer Shreve found herself again at the hardware store and spent the weekend fixing the garage door.

"Oh wait, you're home," she has to think to herself.

It's been difficult for Jennifer Shreve to relinquish some of her roles as single parent and Jim Shreve is still adjusting back into family and civilian life.

Together, with their three teenage boys, they are working to beat some of the challenges other Iraq veterans face coming home, such as divorce, depression, anger issues and alcoholism.

"We went from being a 'we' to an 'I' when he was over there," Jennifer Shreve said in a phone interview. "Now, we're working back to the 'we.'

"It just takes a lot of love; a lot of communication."

Not the same

Thunder booms and lightning crashes. Jim Shreve's immediate reaction is it's a bomb.

That's what he told his wife over the phone during a recent thunderstorm.

News about the Iraq war flashes across the TV and Jennifer Shreve sees her husband tense up and go quiet.

"When he left and when he got back, he was not the same person," Jennifer Shreve said.

The way he displays emotions and communicates has changed, his wife said.

When you ask Jim Shreve if his deployment affected him, he says, "I'm sure it did. I know it did. You can't go through that without having it change your life."

He doesn't really further discuss how he changed.

His unit saw a lot of combat, Jim Shreve said, and he was injured by an improvised explosive device. His injury wasn't serious, but it affected his vision.

Two months after the injury, he underwent emergency surgery in Germany to repair detached retinas. Two days after surgery, he flew back to Iraq.

His vision will never fully be corrected. He wears glasses and contact lenses; he left for Iraq with 20/20 vision.

Jim Shreve doesn't talk to his wife about his 13 months in Iraq, but Jennifer Shreve said she doesn't mind.

"I don't worry about it," Jennifer Shreve said. "It takes years. Vietnam vets didn't talk for 20 to 30 years."

That doesn't mean the family ignores the 18 months Jim Shreve was in Iraq.

"Things changed him over there and things changed here," she said.

When Jim Shreve was in Iraq, he commanded 154 soldiers. He commanded soldiers from 4 a.m. when he got up until 1 a.m. when he went to bed, his wife said.

"When he wanted something done, he gave a command and 20 people jumped on it," Jennifer Shreve said.

It's a different story when he asks his three teenage boys to clean their rooms.

During the 18 months Jim Shreve was gone, his wife and kids learned the little things - such as cleaning their rooms every day and doing the dishes right after dinner - didn't matter.

Jennifer Shreve said she sees her husband get upset with the boys, but she realizes her husband came from a place where if things didn't get done correctly and immediately someone might get injured or killed.

For 18 months, Jim Shreve spent every waking moment in military mode and it will take a while for him to readjust.

"If you speak Italian for 18 months and no English, you're going to have some problems speaking English when you get back," Jennifer Shreve said.

We are family

Jim Shreve's homecoming has gone relatively smooth thanks in part to his 16-year career with the Wyoming Army National Guard and his wife who has been with him most of those years.

As a Sheridan native, Jim Shreve joined the Guard when he was 20 because he wanted to serve his country.

He described his homecoming to Wyoming as "surreal." He was now in a place that didn't have road-side bombs and IEDs.

For Jim Shreve, the best things about being home included "the first snow, being there for holidays, the kids' birthdays, seeing how big the kids grew. It was nice to be able to wake up and not worry about much."

After 9/11, both Jim Shreve and his wife knew he would most likely be deployed and the family prepared for it.

"You just need to recognize the changes and have people around you, loved ones, who recognize them too," Jim Shreve said.

Even though Jennifer Shreve said her husband tries to keep his work separate, it's difficult to do that when you're in the military. The family is "still dealing with this" and probably will be for a while.

Jim Shreve said there is always a possibility he could be deployed again.

"If he has to go back, I'm OK with that," Jennifer Shreve said. "People don't like that but it's part of our lives."

The Shreves are still weathering distance between them. Several months after Jim Shreve returned to Afton from Iraq, he transferred to Laramie to receive the same pay as he was during deployment.

His wife and children continue to live in Afton because they like the community. Jim Shreve travels the five hours between Afton and Laramie several times a month.

For the times when he isn't there, it's a good thing Jennifer Shreve knows where the tool box is.

Contact health reporter Allison Rupp at (307) 266-0534 or allison.rupp@trib.com.

Master Sgt. Jim Shreve

Age: 36

Born: Sheridan

Education: Graduated from Sheridan High School and is working on a bachelor's degree through the military.

Military career: 16 years with the Wyoming National Guard and deployed to Iraq in 2006. Now he is the acting command sergeant major for the 94th troop command.

Family: His wife, Jennifer, and three boys, two 16-year-olds and a 12-year-old.

Click here to read Two men, state advocate for veterans.

Not every family and soldier is doing as well as the Shreves. If your family needs help, contact the Wyoming National Guard Family Assistance Center at (307) 772-5099.